What kind of person would I be if I wasn't ...

... born into poverty, would I have compassion for the poor?
... born to mentally ill parents, would I have compassion for the mentally ill?
... female, would I have compassion for women who need access to affordable reproductive healthcare? Would I be pro-choice?
... the daughter of an Irish immigrant, would I have compassion for immigrants from other countries?
... a lesbian, would I have compassion for people in the queer community? Asexual people? Trans people? Non-binary gendered people? Genderqueer people? For people in other minority groups?
... a foster child, would I have compassion for young people struggling in that system? For young people struggling as they age out of the system?
... bullied in school, would I have compassion for the underdog?
... physically and sexually abused as a child, would I have compassion for child abuse victims and survivors of childhood sexual abuse?
... raped, would I have compassion for rape victims?
... someone with an eating disorder, would I have compassion for people struggling with eating disorders or food addiction?
... an alcoholic, would I have compassion for the addicted?
... sober, would I have compassion for people struggling to stay clean and sober?
... a caregiver to parents with dementia, would I have compassion for people with dementia and their caregivers?
... a breast cancer survivor, would I have compassion for people without adequate health insurance? Without access to adequate healthcare? Living with a pre-existing condition?

We are the product of our environments and life experiences, and I know that I have relied on and benefited from the compassion of others as I faced all of the challenges stemming from these different aspects of my identity, my childhood, my adult life.

I would like to believe that had I lived a different life, I would still be compassionate and know right from wrong on all of these issues, but what if that wasn't the case? Every moral, social and political value that I hold dear is rooted in my experiences with different kinds of oppression, with the consequences of being neglected and abused as a child, with facing my own mental health issues, eating disorders, addictions, breast cancer, and the resulting chronic health concerns resulting from these experiences. All of my choices are the result of my experiences. But is that the only thing that makes us who we are?

I am surrounded by people who have not had all of these experiences, who are just as or more compassionate as I. But there are also people in this world who have many of the same experiences who do not seem as compassionate.

What IS it that makes us compassionate? What is it that makes YOU a compassionate person?

Looking for a senior residential community for a loved one?

I recently heard about a web service, called A Place For Mom, that claims to help families locate senior care communities for loved ones with Alzheimer's or other types of dementia. I logged on and asked for a list of facilities near my zip code, and they provided the names of most of the private-pay, independent living facilities, assisted living facilities (ALFs), and memory care facilities in my area.

I would say one drawback is that I had to give them my email address AND a phone number to get the list.  So when they call me tomorrow, I will have to explain that I don't need any further assistance.  But, if I was seriously looking or a place for one or both of my parents, I would certainly want them to call me and talk to me about it.

Depending on state regulations, if your loved one is on Medicaid and qualifies for supplemental security income (SSI), they may qualify for placement in a licensed Assisted Living Program (ALP). Generally, only officially licensed ALPs or combined ALF/ALP facilities accept payment via a combination of Medicaid and SSI. This may differ by state; for example, it is true in New York State.

This web service provides license numbers for the assisted living communities in the list, but does not mention payment options or if the license is an ALF or an ALP. The web service is funded by the "participating communities" which means they are only recommending participating communities.  I would caution against making placement decisions based only on the information from this site.  However, if you are not familiar with the facilities in the area, this may be a good place to start.

You should be able to search for the license number on the state department of health website, which can tell you if there are any ALP beds in the facility of interest.

Caregiver Matters

Hello, I am Dr. Maria T. Brown, a trained geriatric social worker and a
researcher in the field of aging.

Normally, I use this blog to express my opinions about things going on in the world.  Today, however, I want to tell you about the new YouTube channel I am launching, called Caregiver Matters.  All too often, families find themselves in the position of providing care to older members of their family, who may or may not want their assistance even if they need it. And many families end up figuring their situation out as they go along, without assistance, because they are unaware of the resources available or the situations they will encounter.

I have personal experience caring for my aging parents, have worked with family caregivers in a dementia clinic, and have facilitated caregiver support groups. In fact, it was my experiences as caregiver to my parents that pushed me into getting my social work degree and my desire to understand the elder care system, and perhaps influence change in that system, that pushed me to get my PhD.

Even as I pursue my academic work on aging, I know that many of us who are caring for older adults really need simple, practical information on how to provide care, how to manage the responsibilities of care, and where to turn for help in providing that care. So I am launching this new YouTube channel, Caregiver Matters, to provide information and encouragement for people who are caring for the older adults in their lives. I hope that if you have need for this kind of information, you will visit my channel and let me know what issues or challenges you are facing as a caregiver.

Wishing you the best of luck in your caregiving journey!

What is a Long Term Care Ombudsmen?

Recently, I have seen several commercials for personal injury lawyers targeting those of us with family members in nursing homes.  These commercials are misleading, and they imply that if you have any questions or doubts about your loved one's care in a facility, this is an opportunity for you to make money through a personal injury lawsuit.

If you have questions about what is happening inside a long-term care facility, your first call should not be to a personal injury lawyer, it should be to your state's long term care Ombudsmen's office. As defined by the Administration on Aging, "Long-Term Care Ombudsmen are advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes, assisted living facilities and similar adult care facilities. They work to resolve problems of individual residents and to bring about changes at the local, state and national levels that will improve residents’ care and quality of life."

For more information on the Long-term Care Ombudsmen program, to volunteer as an Ombudsman in your area, or to locate your state Ombudsmen's office, visit these links:

National Long-Term Care Ombudsmen Resource Center -  http://www.ltcombudsman.org/

Administration on Aging - http://www.aoa.gov/AoA_programs/Elder_Rights/Ombudsman/index.aspx


Only when the Ombudsmen is unable to determine (to your satisfaction) what has happened, or has determined that abuse has taken place, should you consider a lawsuit against the facility. And then you should be mindful that your loved one's experiences in long-term care are not an opportunity for you to win the personal injury lottery.

Nursing homes are insufficiently funded by Medicare and Medicaid as it is; they should not have to wast their limited funding defending against unnecessary lawsuits.